“Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are”
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
“Your network equals your net worth.”
It’s no secret that your inner circle is extremely important, and impacts you in every way from your style and physical appearance, to your level of ambition and career success. It’s not something to take lightly; I stopped using the term “friend” loosely a long time ago. But where does this said inner circle come from? An easy answer would be that God brings people into our lives for different reasons/seasons. I think there’s a much more in-depth answer that gets into energy work. I’m not a full on vibrational enthusiast, but I do believe that fundamentally, we each put out our own frequencies/forms of energy into the world. And we feel the energy from others. For the average person, the energy going out depends on what we’re going through, how our day went, etc. It is also affected by who we interface with, as energy can be transferred. For the mentally strong person, the energy put out is largely unaffected by the day-to-day occurrences, and we are selective about the energy we allow to transfer to us (aka we block out the BS and focus on the positive stuff).
We attract people to us based on what we’re putting out into the world. And we gravitate toward certain types of people based on the energy they’re putting out. This is the gist on how our friend groups and networks form. And the basis of many self-help books. As we mature and grow in our relationships, we hang on to those that match our energy or those whose energy we aspire to be around; and we end relationships with people who suck our energy away or just don’t align with our frequencies (B**** don’t kill my vibe lol). At least that’s how it should be, doesn’t always end up that way.
My core friend group formed in college. The same energy that attracted us to each other almost 10 years ago, is the same energy that keeps us bonded today. I can literally feel them in a crowded room, the bond is that tight. And when people are around us, they feel that energy pouring out. We can feel when someone is out of sync. We bombard each other with positive affirmations, while still keeping each other [very] humble. A friendship as good as this one definitely has a divine stamp on it, but I think our individual designs as overall positive-energy people is what keeps us gravitated toward one another.
One of the ways we keep our friendship strong (because all relationships take work no matter what) is by having small weekend getaways at least once a year. It’s never anything too big since many of us are still in school, but we make time to spend with each other in a concentrated fashion. This year we did a “staycation” in Atlanta where we’re all from. The weekend included a dinner, game night, prayers, reflections, a photo shoot, in-home facial treatments, and goal-setting for the new year. It was full of love, laughs and a sense of refreshment. I encourage you to do something similar with your different circles of friends, especially if you don’t get to see each other as often as you once did. It’s so invaluable, and the investment is returned 10 fold.