Self Love 101: Dating yourself

Much of our happiness in this life stems from how much we love ourselves in all of our flawed glory. So that means whether you’re single or dating (though you really shouldn’t be dating unless you’ve figured out the self-love thing), self-love is pretty important. One of the great ways to express your love of you to you is by taking yourself out on dates. This is otherwise known as masterdating. We as a western society aren’t wired to go out on our own, especially as women. It’s just not the norm. So I can understand the hesitation to get all dressed up just to hang out with yourself. But, you are worth it and hopefully I can convince you!

treat yourself parks and recreation GIF

First let’s get into the practicality of it all. How does it work? Well, it’s just like any other dating experience you may have had, except it’s 10x better because you don’t have to work out any agreements or compromise on anything. You don’t have to think about how someone else will feel about your hair or your outfit. You get to pick the time, and be as late or early as you want to be, and move on your own time. You get to pick the place and don’t have to worry about anyone else’s taste. You can satisfy your love for art, music, pampering, food, sports, shopping, outdoors, movies, etc. You don’t have to have small talk. You can be on your phone as much as you want. If you’re a (traditiona) guy, you only have to pay for one person. Basically it’s the perfect date with none of the stress!

Other benefits:
1. Get to know yourself better; become more self-aware
2. Discover a new hobby or get better at one you already have
3. Increase your confidence
4. Be more independent
5. Figure out what really sparks joy for you
6. Get out of your comfort zone
7. Get to know your city better
8. Learn that you don’t need anyone else to have a good time or feel complete

Step 1: Choose a time and place (schedule it in or it can be spur of the moment). If it’s your first time, something that’s low key or more activity-based might be better like a museum or movie, so you can get over the initial awkwardness of being alone.

Step 2: Get dressed up! You don’t have to wear stilettos or a 3-pc suit but at least look nice enough for a double take in the mirror. You’re worth it. Plus look good, feel good.

Step 3: Have fun! Really try to stay off your phone as much as possible and embrace the experience.

getting ready make up GIF by Bounce

Sooooo why doesn’t everybody date themselves? Well there are these things called self-consciousness and insecurity which stop us from doing the things that society deems abnormal. Without the confidence, it’s hard to fight off the staring eyes that we feel and the judgement coming from other people who are on dates or with friends (these things likely don’t exist but we create them in our minds). The good news is that all those doubts and uncertainties melt away once you just focus on yourself and on having a good time.

Today, I took myself out to eat in celebration of completing my final exam of medical school (whoo!). To my left was a young couple and to my right was an older group of friends. They paid no attention to me and I paid no attention to them. My waiter was being extra friendly with me though, I really wanted to be left alone but he kept on checking on me, which is his job I know lol. But dang, how many times do I have to say I’m fine! I just gave him a good tip and kept it moving. I had a good time people watching, and best of all, I didn’t have to split the complementary bread with anyone!

If you’ve never masterdated, I think it’d be a great thing to add to your goals for this month or next. And then eventually make it a habit, because like I said before, you’re worth it!

Have a wonderful week 🙂

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