Hey! It’s been a while since I’ve written, I’ve been doing more videos and honestly haven’t been feeling very open lately, which I won’t apologize for (and you shouldn’t either if you ever feel the same way). The past several weeks have been chill as far as residency goes. October was an ambulatory month with all weekends off. Now I’m in the Newborn Nursery playing with cute babies (also getting headaches from the crying of the cute babies). Hours on this rotation are equally chill, though I do have to work some weekends. I’m actually working straight through this weekend because I’m on long call. Long call on NBN is nothing like long call on a medicine service though. I don’t take any admissions. I’m really just here as the MD holding down the fort in case a baby needs to be evaluated or a nurse has questions about an order. Everyone is relatively healthy though–just the occasional baby with jaundice–so it’s pretty quiet. Hence me writing.
With all of the chill time I’ve had these past weeks, I’ve been studying for STEP3, which I take this week–in 3 days to be exact. STEP 3 is a 2 day exam (LAWD) with both days being full 7-8h days. I don’t know if it’s because I started studying too early or what, but I am so ready to take this exam and be done with it. I have been teetering on the line of simple unbothered-ness vs. true apathy. Not that I don’t want to do well! I’m type A and in medicine, of course a piece of me wants to actually do well. But let’s be honest. I just need to pass so I can move on with my life. I’m just tired of studying, it’s really been killing my vibe. Honestly, I’ve just been skipping study days and choosing sleep instead these days. I actually laugh when I look as the study schedule I made at the beginning of it all. I was so ambitious, ha!
The good thing is that as a family med resident, most of the things on the exam are still fresh to me. I’ve rotated on Peds inpatient, OB service, and Internal med wards, so I’ve pretty much run the gamut of what’s to come. The thing I’m most worried about isn’t even the content of the exam–it’s the length. I can’t even imagine sitting through it all. A couple weeks ago I sat down to try and do a “full length” exam and I fell asleep in the 5th block. I’m just not in the same shape I was in as a young, agile medical student. Now I’m old and run down lol (literally only 4 months in). We’ll see how it goes. I’m hoping that once I get in the zone I’m able to just power through.
Keep me in your prayers! I’m trying to get out of this funk and not feel so “over it” but it’s hard! I just want to sleep and watch tv. Is that too much to ask??
I hope you enjoyed the quick update, and have a fantastic week ahead!